I mean calling yourself positive, uplifting names.4. What surprises most of the people I work with is how much they miss just the casual contact of marriage — the hugs, hand holding, arm around the shoulders and even bumping into each other in the kitchen or bathroom.
Some of the things I'll recommend to clients who are missing casual physical contact with another person are: schedule a massage, become known by your friends as a hugger, get a mani and/or pedi, and hug yourself. In fact, the more detail you can include the better.
Start paying attention to the conversation you’re having with yourself.
If you're like most people, your internal conversation is probably something less than complimentary.
Many states also allow fault-grounds to be cited as the reason for divorce, meaning that some type of marital misconduct led to the breakdown of the marriage.
Fault grounds differ from state to state, but commonly include adultery, domestic violence, abandonment, substance abuse or alcoholism, imprisonment, and mental disability or illness.
You can review the divorce statutes in your state to learn about the specific allowable grounds for divorce that may used when filing for a divorce.
Rhonda's Question: I am married and live in California. He does not have any grounds for divorce except that he is not happy. Brette's Answer: California is a no fault state, so your husband needs no grounds or reason.Before you know it, you'll probably sigh which is a pretty good sign you're enjoying the hug. Finally, when you can start to imagine how wonderful your life could be a year from now, start painting that picture and taking the steps to make it a reality.By the time you've completed all five of my tips, you'll be well on your way to making the rest of your life the best of your life instead of being stuck in the quicksand of divorce depression. Karen Finn is a divorce coach helping clients learn how to deal with loneliness as they navigate the divorce process. If you want help understanding what to do next, reach out to Karen by emailing her at [email protected] a private discussion about the best next steps for you to take.When you give yourself a hug, I find the kind that feels the best is to wrap your arms across your chest so your hands are touching just above your armpits. Imagine the two of us are meeting for lunch one year from today... Each of my five tips for how to deal with depression resulting from divorce should build one on the other. After you've really grieved (aka cry or sob) over what you're saying goodbye to, write your hello letter. Then you're ready to start hearing what you're saying to yourself and make sure you turn up the volume on the kindness and support.You'll want to hold the hug for a bit and focus on it. As we get seated, I can see that you're doing great — much different from the person who was struggling with divorce depression. Once you've got your internal dialogue tuned to a positive note, be sure to take care of your need for casual human contact which could be as simple as giving and getting more hugs.