Dating jokes of the day

A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick.

"After giving an assignment to come up with the most exciting word they can think of, the teacher of a 3rd grade class was asked to write those words on the blackboard. Johnny: The hell if I know, but this morning my sister was missing one, my mom fainted, dad had a heart attack, and the neighbor killed himself. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the busdriver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little,thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.

If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting the cone and the third was sucking the cone, which one is married?

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The study was carried out after a panel of eight comic critics voted the holiday joke by Tim Vine (brother of TV presenter Jeremy Vine) the best of this year's Edinburgh Fringe Festival. 'The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. 'A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. 'I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits? The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. ' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.

Only one, but the whole emergency room to remove it.

Husband comes home from work, plops down in the lazy-boy, flicks on the tv and yells "hey beetch, get me a beer." She say's "No." He replies "beetch, get me a beer or you won't see me for a week."She brings him his beer.

Before it got out of hand he thought of a way to stop it.

When applying it in the bathroom they would then press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints.

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