"The most appealing thing to a man is a woman who has her own autonomy and strength," Kelman says.
The more he sees that you have a fantastic life of your own, the more likely he'll want to jump in and be a part of it.
If you'd rather go to the GYN than watch football, don't pretend to love the Steelers just because the guy you're seeing is a fan.
Instead have your own interests to show him how exciting your life is, with or without him.
"The best type of date allows you to stop texting, put the phone down, and really foster a deep connection," Kelman says.
"Giving back to others shows your good heart and integrity, and although they may not consciously think that far in the future, men are subconsciously assessing maternal traits in a woman to see what kind of mother she'd be," Kelman says.
No need to sign up at the homeless shelter only to impress him.
Little things in your everyday life, from buying coffee for the woman in line behind you to walking your neighbor's dog, count too.
"You want to be the fast-moving car that he wants to jump into, not the one sitting in the parking lot, waiting around," Trespicio says.
Keep up your long runs on the weekends even if he wants to hang out, and don't expect (or nag) him to skip his weekly basketball games in favor of seeing you.