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And yet there were a few people in my social circle who could – to put it charitably – punch well outside of their apparent weight class.They were not classically handsome – in fact, many of them were fat and balding.My friend Miles – he who attracts women the way cheese attracts mice – was successful not just because he looked like the bastard son of Hugh Grant and Rob Lowe but because he knew how to be fun.He was naturally outgoing and positive and instinctively understood how to make people feel good, how to feel guy who liked to tease and play around with everyone – especially the girls he was attracted to – and they would respond with great enthusiasm.Fun people are interesting – they tend to have diverse interests that they enjoy and have stories to share.This isn’t to say that it’s just a matter of telling a few jokes until you manage to laugh them into bed. Once I understood the appeal of fun, I began to recognize how it formed the underpinnings of everything I’d learned up to that point – and how much I had seen it in action over the years.Take bantering and antagonistic flirting, for example.

When done properly, it’s a game of verbal sparring back and forth, matching wits and humor with gentle ribbing and sexually charged teasing…Their secret was very simple: they were fun to hang around with. It gave them a notable, long-term advantage over the guys who were all surface and flash, the ones who only had a handful of tricks and routines to rely on and the ones who got by on social pressure and status games.If you talked to them, then you were going to enjoy yourself. they all loved these guys within minutes of meeting them. It took me a while to appreciate just what they had but once I understood, it was like a new world opened up to me.of time worrying about being more attractive to women.Men tend to feel as though they’re at a disadvantage when it comes to dating and consistently look for the magic bullet that will maximize their efforts.

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